Baltimore Orioles Soundoff

Let me introduce you to the Baltimore Orioles. The REAL Baltimore Orioles. The team that at one point was 14 games over .500 and had at least a four-game lead in the AL East.

Missing: One entire baseball franchise. The black and orange-uniformed players usually answers to the collective name "Orioles." May be looking a bit thin because of malnutrition and insufficient win-loss proportions.

If found, please contact Oriole Park at Camden Yards immediately. The city of Baltimore, Orioles fans everywhere and Peter Angelos are determined to get their players back. And soon.





In an E-mail to Peter Angelos, A's owner Lewis Wolff writes:

Dear Mr. Angelos:

My playoff-contending ballclub has recently discovered your franchise here in Oakland. We don't know how they strayed so far from home, but we do believe that it is, in fact, the same team that we played in Baltimore at the beginning of the season.

Barry Zito is convinced that he was run over by several players matching the description you gave on your missing posters. Joe Blanton, as well.

The A's will gladly send your franchise back to Baltimore. Frankly, they are wearing out their welcome in Oakland. Mr. Angelos, you do realize we are in a playoff race, do you not?

We do not appreciate the fact that your misguided team was lost, and then found, in our home city. It does not help our cause. We would, of course, be grateful to see them go.

I sincerely hope you realize the service that my A's have done your franchise. We took them in, clothed them, sheltered them and then they bit the very hand that fed them.

No need to thank us, Mr. Angelos, just continue winning, and do not come back to Oakland for the rest of the season.

Sincerely,
Lewis Wolff
Owner, Oakland Athletics


So the Orioles have been located! The Oakland A's are Baltimore's saviors. They are for the Orioles what spinach is for Popeye. OK, this might possibly be a slight exaggeration, or a complete coincidence, but I am running with it.

The Orioles are now one game under .500 and a series sweep on Wednesday afternoon would be the icing on the cake.

Sammy Sosa, Melvin Mora and Miguel Tejada all produced for the O's in last night's 4-3 win. Yes, that's right, those are the last three O's that Orioles Soundoff has bashed, and they responded! (And PassFirst's Bill Ferrara thought upon reading my last post, Sammy Sosa would commit suicide...)

Bruce Chen had the type of game that makes you sit back and enjoy life. The type of game where he wasn't walking men around the bases and spraying hits to all fields including the parking lot. Bruce Chen has been the O's most solid pitcher this year. He has reached 10 wins for the first time in his career and he deserves some recognition.

Orioles SoundOff hereby recognizes Bruce Chen: All Hail Bruce "Almighty" Chen. Bruce Chen is the Panamasian Devil!

It is now time for the Orioles to catch fire. Hopefully, Oakland is all the kindling the Orioles need to reheat up their once-blazing season.

The Oakland A's are like Rachel Phelps, the fictional showgirl owner of the Cleveland Indians in the movie, Major League. Phelps inadvertantly motivated the Indians to win 32 of their remaining games after starting 60-61, and ultimately get to the ALCS.

Hey, if it can happen in the movies, it can happen in real life, right? Maybe not, but the O's are still in the hunt, and the time is now to begin playing like a first-place team again.



Jeffrey Maier Sighting in Tampa

Are the rumors true? I was tipped off that in last night's Yankees, Devil Rays game, Eduardo Perez hit a bottom-of-the-ninth homerun that was interfered with by a fan in left field. Is this true? I can find no information on this anywhere.

Has Jeffrey Maier really become a Tampa Bay fan? Has he spurned the team that he once helped rob the Orioles of an LCS crown? If you have information on last night's interference/home run or on the whereabouts of that snake in the grass, Jeffrey Maier, please leave comments below.

That is all I have to say about Jeffrey Maier. I wish you all a good night...er, afternoon. Oh, unless you are Jeffrey Maier.

Next O's Game: Baltimore @ Oakland; Wednesday, August 17 @ 3:35 p.m.

Daniel Cabrera vs. Danny Haren

# posted by Jeff Lippman @ 10:29 AM